The Arc of a Session + Getting to the Peak Earlier

What I’ve seen sometimes with coaches and therapists is that once a session begins, after an initial check in with the client, a session can sort of feel like the practitioner is feeling around in the dark. What’s lurking in this corner? What if I pull on this thread? Is there something over here? Sometimes the client can start to lose confidence in the process and feel like, “Where are we going? Are we getting anywhere?” At worst, they can feel yanked around.

But the practitioner is looking for the doorway in. They have in their mind what the client has said they’re wanting or needing either in that session or in the therapeutic relationship in general, and so they’re doing their best to facilitate that. They’re listening and asking questions and looking for traction that will help them land at the meat of what wants to happen for the client in that session.

If you imagine it on a graph, that upper part of the arc or the peak or “the meat” of the session might involve a-ha moments, tears, or some kind of progress for the client. I generally suggest to practitioners that it’s good to practice getting to that peak sooner and more efficiently. If your sessions are an hour long, this might mean that in the first 15-20 minutes you’re there. This not only will build trust in your abilities for the client, but it’s a deeply caring act because the sooner you’re able to get to the meat, the more session time you have together to unpack it, spread out with it and look at it from all different sides, integrate, and explore it.

This way, you don’t open something up in them and then send them right back out into the world like a raw nerve. Instead they get to leave gently and satisfied. Now sure, sometimes this can’t be helped because that’s just the pacing of it, but where possible, let’s use our skillfulness to get there sooner rather than later.

The trick is to be efficient but also relaxed and unrushed, making the session feel like you have plenty of time and there’s no pressure and you’re not trying to get anywhere. I don’t want you to take this and put pressure on yourself about it. If you’re rushing, the client will feel your agenda and the energy will feel like there’s a tension between you and them…not a good way to build trust or rapport and not a way for them to feel safe to open up, and definitely not a way for you to enjoy the process because that kind of pressure is so stressful.

So first and foremost, this requires you to lean back, let go, and trust yourself. See what you’re curious about. See what the client says that you don’t understand or want more info about. If they’re talking and you’re lost, gently interrupt them to ask for clarification and help get them back on track.

In my next post, I’ll share some specific skills to help you get to the peak sooner. Sign up below to have it sent to you.